Singles Reviews: March 2002


Wilt - Take Me Home (Mushroom)

Wilt, now a four piece after the addition to their line up of guitarist Darren Dempsey, are returning with the follow up to their debut "Bastinado" album, but before we can get to that comes the first single from their forthcoming album (as yet untitled).

T: Starts off like the Leftfield track on that infamous Guinness advert and then comes on inexplicably like Senseless Things circa 92.

N: Somehow I can't place their name, Wilt, with this thunderous sound. But it's been a while since our first time together. Sorry guys. The earth can't have moved.

T: This is pretty inoffensive stuff though, in a toe tapping, nodding your head from left to right like a schoolgirl kind of way. It's a bit strange how they've put a track that pisses all over it second on the CD though.

N: Do you know what? I was just thinking the same. Perhaps my first comment was a little dismissive, but in all fairness I think "inoffensive" is a greater slight.

T: Do you think track 3 sounds like Sugar, or at least Bob Mould's solo stuff?

N: Yes. And again, I think this single has got better the further it goes on. Reverse the running order guys, and perhaps we'll have something more positive to say. 6/10 web site



Sumo - Unseeded (Contact Music)

Formed from the ashes of Papa Mantra, this Wolverhampton trio aren't exactly punching the skies in salute to the state of the nation's music industry at present. But enough of what they think. What do we think?

N: They certainly know how to greet a new acquaintance - grabbing them by the balls and squeezing them until they wince. I can't help the feeling that a fair judgment of how good things are is how soon after pressing play your foot starts to tap, and on a scale of one to ten, this was eleven.

T: That's scary, because I was tapping my feet to Will Young's new single, so I hope you're wrong.

N: Well you just need a visit to your consultant!

T: I agree though. I think it's a fantastic single. Explosive, infectious, and if it doesn't hold you hostage and bundle you in the back of a van, you haven't met an oversized Japanese man dressed like a baby. So, how did is feel when your balls were squeezed Nick?

N: Bruised, and it lasted for weeks. 9/10 web site



Gerling - The Deer In You (Infectious)

This Aussie outfit apparently "skip genres like the proverbial kangaroo", and this single is an appetiser for their forthcoming "Headzcleaner" album. It's produced by Josh Abrahams (you know, that song that tells you about 6 billion times a day on Radio One that they're totally addicted to bass).

T: You're going to have to start this one. I want to sulk. After all, this band have been spending time with Kylie and I'm jealous. Minogue, that is. Not my cousin Kylie.

N: My comment to you is "Did you know that Sascha "Ali G" Baron Cohen is currently dating Isla Fisher?

T: You're just saying that because you know of my weakness for small Australian women. Anyway, he's dating Julie.

N: That's what he'd like you to believe. But anyway, on the subject of this record, he sounds remarkably like Jim ~Reid of the JAMC. Come to think of it, this record sounds remarkably like the JAMC. But that's nothing bad. This is effing great.

T: It is indeed. It's about time we had something crap to review. 8/10 web site



Gareth From Pop Idol - Unchained F***ing Melody (Crap Records)

N: I refuse to be drawn into this web of for the duration of this record, I have nothing more to say.

T: Aagh! I hate f***ing Unchained f***ing Melody. I've always hated it. Every bloody version ever INCLUDING the Jimmy Young one from the fifties. It's just the most depressing song ever, so what happens? The Righteous Brothers record it, it gets played everywhere every Christmas, bloody Robson and and Jerome do an equally abysmal version of this Godawful song, and it haunts me year after year after year. And now bloody Gareth (aah look at the poor lad, he has a bit of a stutter, let's get him to number one) inflicts this crock of shit upon my ears once again. I want to punch him, I really do. Hey Nick, will you do the honours and smash this bastard CD up?

N: (silence - tumbleweed seen blowing through Nick's cavernous mind). 0/10 there's a surprise then. story


Seafood - Western Battle (Infectious)

The awesome Seafood release possibly their last single from the acclaimed "When Do We Start Fighting" album, before the band start recording their follow up (maybe).

T: About time too! I've always thought that this was the best track on the album and now they've finally released it.

N: I don't think anyone would disagree with that, although it's a storming album all the same. I've probably said this before, but I can't help thinking of Brian Molko when I hear this. It sounds very Placebo.

T: Musically maybe, but I can't see it in the voice.

N: You're probably right, but the fact still remains - this rocks. 9/10 web site



Baz - Smile To Shine (One Little Indian)

With a jazz musician for a father, the UK's original female rap artist Monie Love for a sister, and DJ/Producer Dave Angel for a brother, fame is something Baz grew up it's her turn. Sorry about the plagiarism there Ian.

N: It's probably in the genes (Dolci and Gabana I expect), but this single is a fine example to add to the family album.

T: Hello and welcome to Ready Steady Cook-a-celebrity. First you take Macy Gray, chop her up a bit and boil for twenty minutes. Then, add a sprinkling of Gabrielle into the pot and stir. You only need a little seasoning - and that can be any kind of soul singer of the past ten years. Now taste. Mmmm that's nice isn't it? Well I quite like it anyway.

N: It does state in the PR that by being a black artist, doesn't always mean that you should be channelled into R & B. I don't know where I would pigeonhole this. Under "Good" I suppose. Her debut album "Psychedelic Love" is currently being completed. I'll really look forward to that. 8/10 web site



Pet Shop Boys - Home And Dry (Parlophone)

I believe the Pet Shop Boys need no introduction. Coming to our attention in 1985, Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe are the original Mr.Charisma.

N: Yeah, this is the Pet Shop Boys, but with a little something else. You can almost smell the aroma of quality in their sound. The purity of Neil's vocals and Chris's distinctive synth. I thought these guys had given up the ghost long ago. It's nice to see them back.

T: You obviously haven't been keeping as up to date as I thought then - it wasn't that long ago since "You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk"....

N: I didn't know you cared. But Neil, why did you have to "do a Cher" on vocals? I think she needs another visit to her plastic surgeon to get that sorted out.

T: I've often thought you are a lot like Neil Tennant.

Do you want to take it outside?

T: No, I mean, you're the editor, as he was as Smash Hits.

N: I don't care what you meant. I'm offended. Now let's mark this before something kicks off. 7/10 web site


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