Live reviews

Julian Clary 'Natural Born Mincer - UK Tour' - De Montfort Hall, Leicester

Ok, go on make me laugh. Julian I'm here, in the stalls, seat 6, row D. That's the one, you can't fail to miss me as you descend from the stage and into the audience (and notably didn't). - I want to feel my sides split, I want to sink to the floor off this flip seat and find myself swimming amongst the discarded ice-cream papers and lost change (oh - is that a 20p!). But let's be honest before we start this one way relationship, I don't like the new hair-cut much, the life of a performer eh.

Obviously coming to the party with such high expectations, Mr Clary minus his fanny (although the programme does remember) had his work cut out for him, but I was certain that this minor challenge was going to prove little problem at all for a man of Julian's magnitude - a national treasure no less. The question was though, who would come first? Anyway enough of the foreplay, let's get down to business.

We were all advised in letters projected to a 6ft high screen as the show got underway, this - "Warning - the following show contains homosexual filth that will hopefully get you going"! So if you are of a nervous deposition you should leave the building then? Town, county, country, are we heading far enough out for you? Anyway for those still with us at this point, I shall continue with Julian entering stage right, riding a larger than life-size velvet slipper - he did warn us that the entire show would be filled with innuendo. I'm just surprised that the two 'cannons' situated at each side of the stage and showered the audience sitting in the stalls with streamers and silver stars at the close to each half, didn't pipe amal nitrate into the auditorium at some point - now that could have gotten interesting!

Anyway rather than a series of one liners and mildly amusing observation so often fed an audience by the traditional comedian, Julian took us on a ride that not only contained 'the history' of homosexuality, a rather public outing of those who hardly hide themselves under a bushel and a tribute to Burt Bacharach (served up with a 'sardonic sauce') among others. But beware, audience and cast alike because his venomous wit knows no boundaries and as the saying goes "never cross a gypsy", this too should apply to our host. Don't even attempt to trow a heckle (from however far it may come) and what's more even if you try to become the 'wall paper', this will never be inconspicuous enough to avoid his sarcasm.

Visually a spectacle (who does your wardrobe?), and containing that side splitting element I was looking for - it is obvious that we shall never see the likes of Julian Clary O.B.E. treading the boards following his jibes directed at the Windsor's - bless them. But whatever else I may have intimated at here, everyone should put themselves in the position of being the 'butt' of the comedian's jokes at least once - if it becomes more frequent mind you really should evaluate where it is your life is going, in fact (the following morning) I found myself quite liberated - buggered by a homosexual, metaphorically of course, I can thoroughly recommend it!

Nick James

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